The Shadows of Christmas Past Read online

  Cole swore savagely under his breath, his back to the boy. Every little hurt added more to Jase's feelings of inadequacy. The old man had purposely made him look small in front of the ranch hands, belittling him and correcting him, even publicly humiliating and punishing him every chance he got. Cole knew without Jase's telling him, because he'd received the same treatment.

  "I'll find you maps of the ranch, Jase," he promised gruffly. "Even if I have to draw them myself."

  "Thanks, Cole." Jase stood up and carried his plate to the sink. "Has the doc been up a long time?"

  Cole inhaled the scent of fresh coffee. "Yeah, she's been up a while. She's out there with that horse of yours. Go on, I'll take care of cleanup this morning." Cole waved the boy out, not wanting to face Maia yet. She'd disarmed him without even trying, filling the house with the fragrance of breakfast, giving him an unfamiliar sense of warmth and home. He sat there for a moment contemplating that. He'd never felt as if he'd had a home before.

  When he woke up that morning he'd been instantly aware that Maia Armstrong was in his house. Not just any woman, but Maia Armstrong. He never let a woman spend the night with him, and he always left their houses immediately after sex. With Maia, everything seemed different, but he couldn't put his finger on why. It wasn't the fact that he'd awakened with a hell of a hard-on from the erotic dream he'd had about her, instead of waking from the usual nightmare, tangled in his sheets with a gun in his hand. It was because she'd brought a sense of home to the monstrosity of a house he occupied.

  He had awakened looking forward to the day and he hadn't experienced that feeling very often. He had lain there, staring at the ceiling, his heart pounding and his mouth dry, terrified that Maia Armstrong could do that to him. Make him happy by just being in his house. By making a building seem like a home just with her presence. By removing the endless nightmares and replacing them with dreams of her. Her smile. She had a killer smile. Her eyes went soft, almost mesmerizing. The sound of her laughter. It seemed to vibrate through his body, wrap around him until it squeezed his heart and lungs.

  He swore out loud, jumping up fast enough to knock over his chair and turning around in the huge kitchen without a real purpose. She was getting under his skin. He should have found a way to seduce her last night and get it over with; instead, he'd revealed intimate, private details he never should have admitted. She had ammunition to use against him, and he'd given it to her. "Oh, you're good, lady," he said. "What are you after?" He picked up the chair, slamming it against the table.

  Immediately he was ashamed of himself. What was he thinking she wanted? Him? She'd made it clear she had no intention of sleeping with him. His money? That would entail some kind of a relationship with him. He threw a plate into the soapy water, avoiding the dish-washer. Suds and water splashed over the edge of the sink. He needed a damned housekeeper, not a girlfriend.

  "Cole!" Jase burst threw the kitchen door, slamming it back on its frame so hard it nearly bounced. "Come quick. The doc fell and hit her head."

  Cole rushed past him, his heart in his throat. "How the hell did that happen?"

  "I don't know, I found her on the walkway. There's ice all around her."

  "Ice?" Cole sprinted along the covered walkway. There was snow piled high on either side and more flakes were coming down rapidly. The walkways had been specifically constructed with a wide overhang to keep any water from running down onto the surface for the very purpose of keeping ice from forming. The latticework and snow, piled so high on either side, kept the wind and drafts at bay, forming a warmer tunnel for them to use in going back and forth between the various buildings.

  Maia lay sprawled on the ground, one hand at the back of her head. Cole could see the bright red blood staining the white snow underneath her. He crouched beside her, catching her hand gently and drawing it away from the wound. "Let me see."

  She looked up at him, her wide eyes dazed and slightly unfocused. "I just slipped. It wasn't icy when I came out here, and I didn't notice the surface."

  Cole felt the lump on her head through the mass of thick dark hair. It was sticky with blood. He studied the walkway. There was no dripping water that could have caused the snow to ice over the way it had. The surface was slick with a layer of ice, almost as if someone had sprayed water over it. He studied the latticework. A few drops of ice clung to the wood just about level with his waist. "Don't move, Doc, just lie still while I take a look at you." Jase was the only person around. He swore silently. He didn't want to think the boy could in any way be like their father, but his own past and his job gave him a suspicious nature. He had to eliminate Jase as a suspect. There were ranch hands—even Al—living on the ranch and even in a blizzard one of them could have arranged the "accident."

  He glanced once more at Jase. The boy looked so anxious, every instinct Cole possessed told him he couldn't possibly have sprayed the water on the walkway to make it icy.

  "The fall just stunned me for a minute."

  "Did you get knocked out? Jase, was she out for any length of time?"

  "She swore a lot," Jase reported.

  "Did she now? I wasn't sure you knew how to swear," Cole said, looking down into Maia's eyes. It was a big mistake. A man could lose himself there. He couldn't look away from her. He bent his head and brushed a kiss across her mouth to break the spell.

  Her eyelashes fluttered, and she managed to glare at him. "I work with animals, believe me, I know how to swear. And was that another apology?"

  "Sheer desperation."

  "You do look a bit desperate," Maia conceded, straggling to sit up. "And I didn't lose consciousness. I think I knocked the wind out of myself, and my head hurts pretty bad, but if you'll help me up, I'll be fine."

  "I'm going to lift you, Doc. Just put your arms around my neck. Jase, watch your step, the surface is icy, and we don't need another accident."

  "I've never seen the walkway ice over before," Jase said. "Maybe there was rain or slush coming down with the snow."

  "Maybe," Cole conceded, but the temperature was far too cold for rain or slush, and they both knew it. "Just stay close until I can take a look around, Jase." He lifted Maia into his arms, holding her against his chest. Her skin was cool after being outdoors for so long. She was heavier than he expected, her muscles solid and firm. He felt the tension in her the moment he cradled her dose. The same faint fragrance of peaches and rain he'd noticed the night before clung to her skin and hair.

  "I can walk," she protested. She tried to hold herself rigidly away from him. "I'm raining your shirt." Maia felt silly being carried by Cole Steele. If her head hadn't been throbbing with enough intensity to make her teeth ache she would have insisted on walking.

  "Relax, Doc, I have a lot of shirts, and there's only one of you. I don't give a damn about the shirt."

  "That's a good thing, because it's a mess already." She tried to move her head to keep the blood from dripping onto his shirt.

  Cole made a single sound of impatience and she subsided, trying to relax against him in spite of her embarrassment. Jase skirted around the ice and hurried ahead to open the door. "I'll get blankets," he called over his shoulder.

  Cole carried her to the oversized couch, placing her with care in the middle of the cushions. "When you went to the barn this morning, you're positive there was no ice on the walkway?"

  Maia looked up at the concern on his face. His voice was low, obviously to keep Jase from overhearing. "It was easy to get to the barn. I remember thinking everyone should have a walkway like that. Most ranches in the outlying areas use rope or cable as a guideline when it's snowing."

  "We've got cable up in places," Cole said. He took the ice pack and washcloth from Jase as the boy hurried up to them. "Thanks, Jase. The doc's going to be fine. She just looks a little pale. Women do that to give men heart attacks."

  Maia laughed. Cole should have known she would in spite of her injuries, but he wasn't at all prepared for the sound filling the space around them.
His space. It was always there, between him and everyone else, but she didn't seem to see it, and she put things there like her laughter. She was definitely getting under his skin, and it made him edgier than usual.

  "Well, I don't think you should, Doc," Jase chastised, his hand over his heart, "because I was really scared."

  "I'm sorry, Jase. I didn't see the ice. I guess I wasn't looking. And just for your information… Ow!" Maia pulled her head away and glared at Cole as he dabbed at the cut on her head. "That hurts."

  "Stop being such a baby." Cole was extraordinarily gentle as he wiped away the blood. There was an unfamiliar lump in his throat. All the while he was turning over possibilities in his mind. Had someone sprayed the walkway with water in order to cause Maia harm? Who could have done such a thing? He needed to take a closer look at Al and his wife. Find out if anyone had been visiting. Perhaps Fred had stayed with them instead of going home to his family.

  "Does it really hurt, Doc?" Jase asked, frowning at Cole.

  "I'm fine," Maia assured. "He's being gentle. I feel a little stupid falling on my head." She wasn't going to mention the bruises all over her backside. Cole's face was very close to hers, and she could see his long lashes, the bluish shadowing along his jaw, the tiny lines etched into his weathered features. His gaze met hers and her heartbeat accelerated instantly. "You're lethal." She didn't mean to say it aloud. She had to blame the bump on her head. It knocked out her good sense.

  "Yes I am," Cole warned. "Don't forget it."

  Maia looked up at Jase and burst out laughing a second time. "At least I'm not the only one saying dumb things. Your horse, by the way, is doing great, Jase. No temp, the drains are working, and I gave him his antibiotic shots, so he's fine for the time being. I didn't feed him, so you'll have to do that. And I want to move him to a small enclosure where he can get around without hurting himself. The trick is to get him to walk enough to keep the swelling down, but not so much that he pulls out the sutures or does more damage."

  "I still have to feed the other horses this morning," Jase said. "I told Al I'd do it so he wouldn't have to risk driving in the storm. We knew the storm would be bad, so I'll take care of the stables, then let Wally into the small round pen inside the big barn. I can feed him there, unless you just want him to exercise a couple of times a day."

  "I'll feed the horses, Jase," Cole said. "Give me a few minutes with the doc here to get her settled, and I'll go make the rounds."

  "I don't mind, Cole," Jase objected. "I can do the job."

  Cole scowled and opened his mouth to make it a command, but Maia deterred him, touching his wrist with her fingertips. When he glanced at her she shook her head slightly and turned her head to smile up at Jase. "Actually, I was hoping you'd stay with me for a little while so we could come up with a plan for Wally." Her smile widened until it lit her eyes. "I think the name suits him. He likes it."

  "Did he tell you that?" Cole asked, his voice edged with sarcasm.

  "As a matter of fact, he did. What do you say, Jase? Let the grouch feed the horses this morning, and we'll map out a plan of action for Wally."

  "You may as well plan Christmas for us too." Cole made the suggestion to forestall Jase's protest that the horse wasn't anything special to him. His heart jumped, slamming hard against the wall of his chest in protest. He would have taken the proposal back, but the boy suddenly looked hopeful.

  Maia's fingers tightened on his wrist. He hoped to hell she had no idea what the turn in the conversation cost him. Cole refused to meet her eyes, instead busying himself with getting the matted blood from her hair so he could see the wound.

  "You sure you didn't try ice-skating," he said gruffly as he looked at the laceration.

  A faint smile softened the lines around her mouth. "I've always wanted to learn, but it wasn't my intention."

  "I can take her ice-skating if she wants to go," Jase volunteered. "There's a pond that freezes over every winter. It's great for ice-skating."

  Cole glanced at the boy's face. He was staring at Maia as if she were a goddess. He sighed and leaned down, his mouth against her ear, his lips brushing her skin. "Tone it down before the boy asks you to marry him." The faint scent of peaches in her hair triggered a heat flash that seemed to spread through his veins straight to his belly and centered in his groin.

  She turned her head so that her mouth was brushing against his cheek. "Really? I didn't realize I had such an impact."

  Her voice vibrated down his spine. He could have sworn her finger stroked his wrist but when he looked down, her hand was lying there motionless. Innocent. Her lips were feather-light, soft and full. Cole felt the burn right through his skin. He jerked away from her. She was reducing him to a smitten teenager. Jase could fall under her spell, but he was damned if he would. It was supposed to work the other way around. He certainly wasn't mesmerizing her. And she sure wasn't falling into his bed. Maia looked up at him, her eyes wide and beautiful, and the breath left his lungs in a rush.

  Cole backed away from the couch. "I think you'll be fine. Jase, get the doc an aspirin and stay with her while I get the chores done."

  "And you're really fine with decorating the house, or maybe even getting a Christmas tree?" There was a note of fear in Jase's voice.

  Cole felt the echo of fear in his gut. "Sure. Sounds like a plan." He turned away from them. A woman who appeared soft and gentle but had a core of steel. A boy, lost in his past and trying desperately to find security and a home. Cole shook his head. How the hell had he gotten into such a mess? He needed familiar ground. He was never afraid. He had nothing to lose, and when a man had nothing to lose, he didn't experience fear. He was letting some little slip of a woman scare the holy hell out of him.

  Outside, he examined the ice-coated walkway. Someone had poured water over the snow to form the icy surface. The hose was buried in the large snowbank on the outside of the walkway, but he could see the hose had been stuck in one of the latticework holes and sprayed onto the surface. Small droplets of water had frozen on the lattice.

  Was it Jase? It didn't feel right to him. Jase seemed to be genuine. A nice kid who needed a family. Could he be as sick and disturbed as their father? They were in the middle of particularly harsh buzzard. No one else was in the house or around the ranch that Cole was aware of. He studied the ground near the hose. The boot impressions in the snow were large—too large to be Jase's—and led back toward a door that opened into the barn. Someone had opened that door and spied on Maia while she worked on the horse. Jase hadn't been wet or covered in snow when he'd come running in.

  If Maia had gone out early to tend the horse and the walkway had been fine, then only Jase had gone after her. It was possible Jase had shot the old man. He'd never been ruled out as a suspect. He didn't want Jase to be guilty, but the evidence wasn't stacking up in the boy's favor.

  Brett Steele had been found in his office, dead from a single bullet smack in the middle of his forehead. Cole shook his head. Jase had found the injured horse. He could have easily driven the horse into the fence and then gone to get Al, making a show of being upset and blaming Cole. Jase claimed he found Cole's glove in the fence.

  Cole straightened and took a cautious look around. His alarms were shrieking at him. Something was terribly wrong, and he knew he was in danger. Maia Armstrong could very well be too. And Jase.

  He shook his head, vowing to find out who was sneaking around the ranch and why as he trudged through the snow to the stables to feed the horses.

  He patted an outstretched neck as one of the horses greeted him, then tossed a flake of hay into the last feeding bin.

  He ran his hand along one of the horses' backs, bent closer, and noticed a girth mark near the horse's belly. It could only mean the horse had been ridden recently, within the last couple of days. Cole leaned down to pick up a foot, examining the hoof. Dirt and debris were caked in the shoe. Very slowly he lowered the hoof to the stable floor, a slight frown on his face. Al hadn't said anything
about taking the horses out.

  Cole closed the door to the stall and went to examine the saddles and bridles. A large saddle was set to one side, slightly off kilter, but it didn't mean anything. A rifle scabbard was hooked to the saddle, and it had a mud pattern splattered across it.

  A muffled footfall alerted him. Cole eased back into the shadows of the tack room and drew the gun from the holster strapped to his calf. Only the munching of the horses as they chewed hay and the sound of their continual restless movements in the stalls broke the silence. Cole didn't make the mistake of moving. He had endless patience when needed. A shadow stretched across the wall, a man holding a pitchfork out in front of him. Cole stepped out into the open, his gun rock steady, an extension of his arm.

  Every vestige of color drained from Jase's face. He dropped the pitchfork and backed against the stall. "Don't shoot me."

  Cole swore savagely. "What the hell is the matter with you? I could have shot you. What were you thinking?" He shoved the gun out of sight.

  "I came out to help you," Jase defended, his face tight with fear and growing anger. "What are you doing with a gun?"

  "None of your damned business," Cole snapped. Jase turned and ran out of the stable, disappearing from Cole's line of vision.

  Cole crushed down the need to throw something. He should have identified the intruder before coming out of hiding with his gun. He knew better than to let his highly tuned instincts take over completely. Dammit. He was going to have to explain the gun. How did you tell a teenager your entire world was made up of conspiracies, and you siphoned through them one at a time to get to the truth?

  chapter 7

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  Cole entered the living room to find Jase pacing furiously back and forth across the room. The boy cast a dark, furious look at his brother. Maia looked up and met Cole's gaze, lifting her hands palm up in inquiry. Jase stopped pacing abruptly and stood breathing heavily, his hands on his hips.