Judgment Road (Torpedo Ink #1) Page 20

  He had to find a way to make her want to stay. He wasn’t good with words. He didn’t know how men were supposed to act in a relationship. But he knew her body wanted his. He could see the desire in her eyes, feel it in the fine tremor that went through her.

  He cupped the soft weight of her breasts in his hands, his thumbs sliding over her nipples in a whisper. “Sometimes, Anya, I can’t breathe when I see you.” He gave her truth when he would normally have kept his mouth shut.

  Her breath hitched. She should have stopped him, but she didn’t. Her eyes went wide and she bit her lower lip, but she didn’t protest.

  Reaper wrapped one arm around her back and bent his head. Taking his time. Giving her every opportunity to say no, but she remained silent. His mouth moved over the top curve of her tit. So soft. He felt his heart beat in his cock. He was exposed. He didn’t want her to put her hands on him, not yet, not until he knew she’d be safe, but he couldn’t resist the temptation of tasting her.

  He nipped her skin, felt her body tremble in his arms. His tongue flicked her nipple. Her breath shuddered out. His mouth closed over her breast and he suckled strongly. Flattened her nipple against the roof of his mouth. Danced, flicked, sucked, then brought his teeth into the play. Her arms went around his head, cradled him to her, fingers stroking his hair while her body arched, offering him what he wanted. A small little cry broke from her.

  She was sensitive. Responsive. He loved that. Her body really did belong to him. He wasn’t alone in suffering that. His was all hers. It always would be. He hadn’t ever responded to a woman the way he did to her. His mouth left her breast and he kissed his way up her throat, his tongue swirling over the pulse there before he trailed fire up to her lips.

  He kissed her with everything he was. Man. Beast. Killer. Biker. Hers. Every single cell in his body belonged to her. She’d branded him, and along with the colors he wore on his back, he wanted her brand right over his heart. Her name tattooed right across it. Fire ran down his spine. Flames settled in his belly, roaring there. Burning spears pierced his skin and a firestorm hit his cock and balls. She did that with her kisses. He barely had started and she’d ignited an inferno beyond anything he’d ever felt.

  A knock had him lifting his head to glare at his brother. “A little busy right now,” he snapped, his thumb sliding back and forth across her nipple. His mind was on her lush body, and her fantastic tits that rivaled a perfect ass. His head was roaring and his cock raging. He didn’t have time to put up with a bunch of bullshit from his brother.

  Savage nodded solemnly. “I see that. Nevertheless, Alena sent me ahead of her. She wanted to know if Anya wants coffee or tea. I’m just the messenger, don’t kill me.”

  Reaper glared at him. Anya’s fingers slipped slowly from his hair as if she was working to keep them from being seen. She caught the edge of the sheet and brought it up over her breasts. Reaper hated to see them covered and wished he had a knife handy to part his brother’s hair. She was suddenly tense, and he glanced down at her. She was completely covered. He knew she wasn’t the same way they were about nudity. The tension running through her had nothing to do with nudity and everything to do with Savage being in the room. She looked as if she found the hem on the sheet very interesting, refusing to look up at his brother.

  “Bad timing.” He said it gruffly.

  Savage shrugged. “Don’t think it much matters when you’re around her. Tea or coffee, Anya?”

  “Coffee. Black.” She shifted her body just slightly to put Reaper squarely between them.

  Reaper liked that. Liked that she used him for protection, but he didn’t like that she thought she would need it just because Savage came into the room. Her voice was polite. Pleasant. A mere whisper of sound.

  “Would you get me the flannel? I put it here somewhere.”

  He liked that she wanted his shirt, that something of him would be surrounding her. Obediently he found it and handed it to her. She dropped the sheet and slid into the arms of the shirt. He caught her hands. “Don’t button it, baby. Just bring the edges together.” He slid under the sheet with her. Close, his leg tangling with hers. Shoulders touching.

  She hesitated and then dropped her hands. “Reaper. We aren’t going to have a thing.”

  They were going to have a thing. He just had to figure out the best way to go about it. “Not sure what you mean by that, babe. We aren’t going to fight, if that’s what you mean. I plan to give you everything you’ve ever wanted, so there isn’t going to be any need to fight.”

  He slipped his hand inside the open shirt and caressed her tit. “Can’t make up my mind which I like best. Your tits or your ass. You’re so fuckin’ gorgeous there’s no way to choose.”

  She shook her head, color sweeping up her neck into her face. She leaned into his hand, and he used his fingers and thumb to stroke her nipple. Gently. Barely there. His touch whispering. Lulling her. Watching her face. God, he wanted her. Not momentarily. Not just for her body—he wanted to wake up to her. To go to sleep with her. He wanted to hear that laugh of hers all day long.

  “I mean, I’m going to tell Czar to take his job and shove it.”

  “That’s okay, you don’t want to work. I’ve got money. Enough for both of us. That house is going to take some work.” Deliberately he misunderstood her. “Needs your touch.”

  His finger and thumb stroked and then tugged. She gasped, and he tugged a little harder. Pinched down. Her body shuddered with need. His fingers went back to stroking. “Want to put my mouth on you. Go to sleep like that. Wake you up eating you. Nothing tastes so good, Anya. Like candy.”

  “Reaper, I can’t stay here. Not after what happened. I get that you all thought it was necessary, it isn’t even that. It’s the club. It’s the fact that I’ll always be second to everyone else. Don’t you think I want to stay with you? I do. I want this as much or more than you. But as much as you want my body, you don’t feel the same way I do. Not about a relationship. I told myself one night would be enough and I’d walk. Maybe I could have then, but I was fooling myself. I’m halfway in love with you, and you’re pulling me in deeper.”

  He’d never been so happy to hear anything in his life. “Why do you think I’m not committed? You know what happened last night, so aside from that …”

  “Um, really?” She pushed his hand off her breast and turned slightly in the bed to glare at him.

  She didn’t realize the action parted the shirt more, exposing one breast. That, her hair wild and tumbling around her, her mouth so close and her green eyes sparkling at him, sent another surge of heat right through his cock. She could get him going without even trying.

  “Enlighten me.” Before he jumped her. Talking was not his forte. Action was, and he wanted action.

  “You left, remember? Just walked out without a single word. Did you think that made me feel like you cared? And then you did it a second time. Walked me to the bathroom and you were gone. Then again you left after you jacked off all over me.”

  “There’s an explanation.”

  “Enlighten me.” She used his own words against him.

  He looked away from her. “Anya, sometimes, a man has history. Things in his past he doesn’t want the woman he cares about to know. This is one of those things. I’m working on it. And I’m working toward maybe telling you one day, but you’ll have to be patient with me. I never thought I’d tell you the things I told you last night.”

  “Worse than what you told me last night?”

  Her voice was soft. Melting into him. Soothing him. She didn’t push. She didn’t demand. She just dropped one hand on his bare thigh and rubbed gently, comforting him.

  “Worse. For me, far worse.”

  “Okay, honey, we’ll drop it for now.”

  “You going to tell me if you wore me all day on your skin?”

  “No.” She leaned her head back against the headboard.

  “No?” He was going to get it out of her. Just not then. “Here’s Ale
na.” The aroma of the food heralded her arrival. “Best cook ever.” Because he knew it mattered to her, he pulled the flannel closed over her breast, depriving him of the view but earning him a quick, grateful look from under her lashes.

  Alena stepped into the room carrying a large tray. Savage followed her with two full coffee mugs. “Can your eyes take a dim light, Anya?” he asked while Alena set down the tray.

  Anya nodded. “I think. The headache is much better this morning, and I just took some more pain pills.”

  The hurt was still in her voice, but the anger was gone. Reaper would have preferred it the other way around. More, she was averting her eyes again, not looking at either Savage or Alena. Her body was tense against his. Small tremors moved through her. He put one hand on her thigh to try to help ease the anxiety, but she moved slightly away from him.

  Alena dished up her famous eggs Benedict and toast, handing each of them a smaller tray to make it easier. She took a seat opposite them, the one nearest the door.

  “Anya, I should have stood with Reaper last night and protested. I know it was important, I’m not saying it wasn’t. We can’t lose Czar or Blythe. You have no idea what Czar has done for us, how many times he saved us and from what, but I still should have backed Reaper. Blythe is trying to teach us how to be better people.” She hesitated. “We didn’t learn like other people how to …” She broke off again, frustrated.

  “Thank you,” Anya said quietly. Very politely. “I appreciate what you’re trying to say.”

  Reaper frowned. He didn’t like that she still found a way not to look at Alena, but there was nothing he could do about it, not without calling attention to it.

  “It’s just that we don’t want you to leave. None of us. Not one single person in the club. You’re important to Reaper and that makes you family to us. I wanted to give you the heads-up that Blythe is on her way over. Reaper, you might want to eat fast, dress and go the meeting. Blythe is going to stay with Anya.”

  “Blythe?” Reaper’s heart did a little stutter of happiness. Blythe was magic. Blythe could maybe fix this when the rest of them didn’t have a clue how. And it needed fixing. For all his attempts, Anya still, despite her politeness, wasn’t looking at any of them.

  “Yes,” Alena said, relief sliding into her voice. “Blythe.”

  “These eggs are fuckin’ good, Alena.”

  “My sentiments exactly,” Anya echoed in that same polite voice. “And the coffee is excellent as well.”

  “Coffee isn’t really my specialty. I was telling Czar we needed a little coffee shop or drive-through. Something really small. His oldest daughter, Darby, could work in it. She’s been saying she wants a job. Blythe and Czar want her close. If she worked here, we could all keep an eye on her and she’d be safe,” Alena said.

  “I didn’t have a chance to meet her,” Anya said.

  “She’s a great kid,” Alena told her.

  “Wild as hell,” Savage commented. “We’re always pulling her out of the parties and taking her ass home.”

  “She’s a kid,” Alena protested, “she’s supposed to party.”

  Savage didn’t say anything because they all heard the sound of a woman’s voice laughing. Reaper nearly threw the plate of mostly eaten eggs onto the bed and jumped up, grabbed his jeans and stepped into them. Anya took her cue from him and buttoned the flannel. When Reaper turned to face the door, he gave Anya a good view of the tattoo on his back. It was the same as the one on his jacket. The tree, crows and skulls. Some day he was going to tell her the significance. Now wasn’t the time. He’d seen the way she avoided looking at Savage and the colors he wore.

  Czar brought Blythe right into the room. “Brought my woman to see yours, Reaper,” he said. “She’s going to stay with Anya while we talk. It’s important or I wouldn’t pull him away, Anya.” He stepped closer to the bed. “How are you feeling this morning?”

  The moment Czar came close, Anya moved subtly away. Her entire body was stiff and vibrating with tension. Reaper reached for her hand, brought it to his thigh, positioning his body to the side of the bed and a little in front of her. He knew Czar would never hurt her, but he couldn’t let go of his resentment toward the man. Anya’s strong negative reaction fed his own bitterness. Czar meant everything to him. Father, brother, mentor, best friend, and this was the first time they’d fought over anything other than Czar’s security. Czar still had his woman. He hadn’t seen her torn apart by his brothers and sisters.

  “I’m better, thank you,” Anya said in her most polite tone. Her voice was tight. She avoided looking at Czar and the cut he wore.

  Yeah, his woman really didn’t like his club or their colors. The last time he saw his jacket—his colors meant everything to him—it had been in the bathroom on the floor covered in vomit. Shit. He brought Anya’s hand to his mouth and kissed her knuckles. “I won’t be long. Have fun with Blythe or rest. Don’t open the screens yet, Blythe,” he added as a caution and a way to tell both Czar and Blythe that Anya was still hurting.

  Alena stood and collected the trays, leaving the mug of coffee. She smiled when Anya thanked her so politely, but her smile was strained. Anya wasn’t rolling over for them, and Reaper knew Alena had made breakfast to try to break the ice.

  To his astonishment, Savage handed him his jacket. Clean. Even smelling good. Savage didn’t look at him, just kept walking. He would never say a word about cleaning his brother’s jacket for him, but he’d done it and Reaper was grateful. All the club members were working to make up for their screwup. Blythe closed the door and moved deeper into the bedroom. She smiled at Anya. “How are you really feeling?”

  Anya watched her warily. This was a setup if she ever saw one. “The pain is a lot less. I was under the impression you weren’t …” She stopped, not knowing what to say. Hadn’t Reaper said Czar would never tell Blythe? How much did she know?

  “Czar came in upset last night. Very upset. We have a rule in our home. He tells me the strict truth if I ask. Most of the time I don’t want to know club business, but if I ask, I have to know I can handle the truth. I love my husband very much, so I’m careful of the things I decide to ask about. It’s also a protection for me. I can’t testify against him if it came to that because I don’t know anything. They can’t compel me by threatening to take my children away.”

  “And you’re okay with the things the club chooses to do.”

  “He promised me no drugs. That was a high priority for me. I know they wouldn’t touch human trafficking because they go after those that do. They have to do things, sometimes to get information they need. I understand that. But if I ask, he tells me. That simple. Last night, I asked.” She sighed and sank down on the edge of the bed. “He told me what he did caused a rift between you and Reaper. It also caused a rift between Reaper and him.”

  Anya had heard a little of what had transpired between Czar and Reaper the night before. She knew their relationship was strained.

  “You have to understand, they don’t fight. They’re always in sync. They trust each other and have each other’s back. Czar has worried about Reaper for a very long time. The entire club has worried about him. Czar knew immediately that Reaper was attracted to you. You don’t know what a big deal that is. Reaper stays away from everyone.”

  He’d stayed far away from Anya as well. Then he started coming into the bar and she couldn’t get her mind off him.

  “The moment he wanted you fired, which was completely out of character for a man like Reaper, Czar knew it was you. He came home so excited. He kept asking me to make certain Reaper didn’t mess up and lose you. Then last night happened and Czar was so afraid for me, he insisted Absinthe question you. Reaper protested. Was angry with him. He said some of the others were as well. Ice, Storm. Preacher. Savage, of course. Lana and Alena. But he knew they wouldn’t speak against him because they don’t.”

  Apparently, Lana had. More and more it looked as if Reaper had at least protested. That was something.
Anya held that to her. The pills were making her sleepy, but she wanted to hear what Blythe had so say. In spite of everything, she was beginning to hope there was a slight chance. She just didn’t know if she could forgive them all, and she didn’t want to come in second to the club.

  “What they did to you was wrong. They were brought up as children without parents or society to teach them. They had Czar. He was ten when he started trying to save them all. A little boy with toddlers being brutalized, just as he was. They made their rules and code and have lived by it ever since.”

  Anya was well aware of that. She’d been on the wrong side of that code.

  “Reaper has made it clear that you’re the one for him. Everyone in the club has accepted you. I want you to know, when Czar came back to me, and he’d been gone for five years without a word, I didn’t want anything to do with him. I was pregnant when he left. He didn’t know it, but then …” Blythe stumbled over the words and her eyes filled with tears. “I was beaten with a baseball bat when I was eight months along. She lived two days. I couldn’t have any more children, and he wasn’t there.”

  “Oh, Blythe.” Anya sat up straight, wanting desperately to comfort the other woman.

  “I didn’t think I could ever forgive him. Eventually, he convinced me to try, and I’m so glad I did. I’m happy. Really, really happy, Anya, and I think if you can find it in your heart to forgive Reaper and the others, you’ll find you have a huge family, men and women who will love you and watch out for you. I’m not saying it will be easy, Reaper is a damaged man. They all are damaged. But he’s worth it.”

  “I don’t want to be second to the club, and if nothing else, what happened showed me I would be.”

  “What happened to you was awful. Czar was devastated over the whole thing, so more than anything, that told me it had to be terrible for you. I’m so sorry. I know they seem horrible, frightening people with no real emotions, but that isn’t true.”