Dark Curse Page 8

Chapter 7

 

  The chamber was even more beautiful than Lara remembered, a dazzling display of gems and crystals of various colors. The water sparkled as it poured from the wall into the pool, the droplets like thousands of diamonds falling from the sky, but the warmth and beauty of the cave no longer made her feel safe and comforted. A cage was still a cage no matter what it looked like. She preferred the glacier-blue ice caves, cold and desolate, because she knew exactly what to expect there.

  She moistened her lips and steadied herself. Yes, she had strong Carpathian blood running in her veins, and she burned like hell in the sun-she figured that was just the luck of the DNA draw-but she wasn't fully Carpathian like Nicolas. She wasn't a hunter who had killed over the centuries. She wasn't close to turning vampire as he was. And that meant, she simply had to bide her time and wait. She wasn't concerned with the safeguards at the entrance. She was a talented mage and had watched carefully as he had woven the strands for the safeguards.

  She searched for a safe topic of conversation. Anything that would keep him from touching her mind and discovering her plan. "Did you see the prince? Did he tell you how Terry was doing?"

  "I spoke with Gregori, our healer, and he said your friend has a good chance of surviving. He would not say that if it was untrue. "

  "Gregori looks less like a healer than anyone else I could imagine. "

  "I suppose he does. You obviously had seen the parasites before. "

  She had shared that memory with him, she had no choice but to admit it. Lara nodded. "Xavier experimented often trying to find ways to strengthen his ability to command others to his bidding. " She couldn't stop the shudder that ran through her body. "His creatures were ravenous and often escaped his commands. They ate human flesh. "

  "Your mother?" He asked it softly, his voice gentle.

  She swallowed the sudden lump in her throat. She hadn't thought of her mother in years. She'd never

  been able to conjure up a picture of her in her mind, not even a scrap of memory. Not the color of her hair or even her scent. She hadn't known she had a mother until the parasites combined with the silver of Gregori's eyes had triggered a long-forgotten memory. "Yes, but I didn't remember her until now. "

  "She was mage. " He made it a statement.

  Lara frowned. Now that he said it aloud, she recalled her aunts referring to her mother as mage. Why hadn't she remembered that before? Why hadn't she remembered that her mother had curly hair? She touched her own hair. She had been born with white hair although a red tint had developed very early on. Little corkscrew curls had been all over her head, thick and springy, impossible to control. Her mother's hair had been like that as well. "Yes, she was. I vaguely recall pulling on her curls. "

  The memory of her mother lying on the floor of ice, parasites attacking her dead body made her sick. She pressed a hand to her mouth, found she was trembling and paced closer to the warm pool. The sound of the waterfall soothed her, allowing her to draw a few deep breaths so that she could change the subject. She didn't want to remember anymore.

  "You were gone a long time. What did you do tonight?"When you weren't controlling other people's minds and stealing their blood without their consent . The thought came unbidden and she kept her back turned so he couldn't read her expression. She didn't trust herself at all. He was used to reading opponents, and right now, whether he knew it or not, they were locked in a battle for life.

  "We held a warrior's council this night. The vampires have banded together and are trying to destroy our species. Humans would stand little chance against them. Just making them believe vampires exist would be nearly impossible. "

  Her heart jumped with shock and she turned to face him in spite of her resolve. "Vampires are too vain and selfish to band together. They only hunt in pairs when one has become the puppet of another. I know that to be true. My aunts told me exactly what had to be done to kill them if I ran across them, and they told me the vampires despise everyone, including each other. That is why the Carpathian hunters will always have the edge when fighting. "

  "That has always been true, down through the centuries," Nicolas agreed. "But it is no longer so. Someone has found a way to band them together and we are in for a long, bitter war for survival. "

  She didn't question why his dark gaze stayed on the gentle lapping of the water in the pool against the smooth boulders. "Xavier? Do you think he's still alive? He was so old even twenty years ago, but he was good at getting the necessary Carpathian blood to continue his life. "

  "We believe he may still be alive and has formed an alliance with five brothers, powerful Carpathians who we think have turned vampire. "

  "If Xavier is still alive, then my aunts could be, too. I have to get into that cave. "

  His head jerked up, black eyes burning over her face. "That cave is dangerous. Going there is foolish. If your aunts were alive, we would know it. They would have the ability to call to our people for aid. "

  "If that were true," Lara snapped, sarcasm dripping from her voice, "then they would have done so when I was a child. They were kept weak and sick. "

  "Those who entered the cave saw the bodies of two dragons encased in ice-dead. "

  Lara's stomach churned and she pressed a hand to her abdomen.

  "Xavier kept them encased in ice. He froze his blood supply, very clever wouldn't you say? Do you know what kind of pain a person goes through when their body is recovering from being frozen?"

  Nicolas gentled his voice. "Lara, I will go to the ice cave myself and check for you, but it is best if you stay far from that place. Xavier left protections-dangerous ones, including shadow warriors. It would be suicide for you to go there. "

  Lara pressed her lips together tightly. What was the use of arguing with him when she planned to escape anyway? Of course she would go. How could she not? Her aunts would have never given up searching for her, nor would they let danger prevent them from going to the one place that would yield the bodies as well as clues.

  She cast around for something-anything at all to say. She could see the corner of the bed in the next chamber, a massive old-fashioned bed with a carved head¨C and footboard. She didn't want to go into the other chamber or even acknowledge it was there. Already, she could feel the tension rising in the cavern.

  Glancing at him from beneath a screen of long lashes, she moved a little farther out of reach. He seemed to fill the space of the chamber, although it was quite large with high ceilings. It was impossible not to feel the sexual pull. He was too handsome, too sensual, the combination of the way he moved-going from utter stillness to a streak of action-was sexy. Power was in the flow of his body and etched into every line on his face. His brooding eyes could melt Lara and when he turned the intensity of his black gaze on her, focused on her completely, her body ceased belonging to her and reached for him.

  She had tried to put off thinking of the consequences of Nicolas's claiming her as his lifemate. Maybe in a secret part of her she hadn't really believed that by uttering a few words he could change her life forever, but she felt the connection-and sexually it was just plain frightening. To go from not being even mildly interested in men who she was friends with and knew, to having her body flare out of control for a man she didn't even like was horrifying.

  She had been helpless as a child and vowed never to be so again. She'd spent years of her life controlling everything around her so she would never have the vulnerable, helpless feeling again. She looked around her at the cavern walls. Here she was nearly twenty years later and she was right back where she'd started, only this time, her own body betrayed her.

  "Stop being so afraid of me,palafertiil . I will not take anything you do not want to give me. "

  In the flickering candlelight he looked a little wolfish. She crossed her arms over her breasts wishing her gaze wouldn't drift down his hard, masculine body and that he didn't have that knowing look on his face. He was Carpathian wi
th heightened senses and he would know her body was aroused-worse, he could probably smell her fear.

  Her chin lifted. If he could smell her fear, then what was the use of denying it? "You bound our lives together without consent. That tells me you take what you want and really could care less about what I want or how I feel. "

  "Is that what it tells you?"

  She couldn't help the small glance she shot at the passage leading to freedom. It was only a few precious

  feet away, but it might as well have been miles. "You don't have to sound so patronizing. Do you really think things are the same way back when you were born? What is it now, five hundred years?"

  He bared his white teeth in what could have passed for a smile, but was more of a warning. "You are a few centuries off, but I get the point. We have the right to claim our lifemates. If you do not fight the inevitable the transition will be a lot easier and smoother. "

  Her eyebrows shot up. "Really? For who? I must have some rights in this situation. Surely I can talk to someone who can advise me. The prince, maybe. "

  The tension in the cavern went up a notch. He didn't change expression, but tiny red lights flickered in the depths of his eyes. "If you want to know something, you have only to ask me. Lifemates do not deceive one another. "

  "You said you wouldn't make me a prisoner, yet you have. You gave me the way out, but then you refused to allow me to take it. "

  He stirred, going from stillness to muscles rippling beneath his thin shirt, as if a great cat stretched and unsheathed his claws. The air left her lungs in a little rush and she actually stepped back, although he had remained stationary.

  "The sun will burn your skin. You cannot expect me to allow you to hurt yourself simply because of an unfounded fear. That goes against my entire nature. "

  "I don't think you understand something as fundamental as freedom, Nicolas," Lara said. "You're big and strong and have enormous power. When have you ever had anyone telling you what to do? I can't imagine many people in your lifetime have dictated to you. "

  "It is not the same thing. " He gave a small sigh. "I have never had to do this before, and it is something I do not enjoy. "

  "The 'it' being someone disagreeing with you?"

  "Arguing for no good reason. I cannot permit you to burn for the sake of defiance. What kind of a lifemate would that make me? Would you truly prefer someone who cared nothing for your health and safety?"

  "You say lifemates don't lie to one another. Can you truly say you refused to let me leave because you were worried about my skin burning, or was the reason really because I dared to defy your orders?"

  He moved then, a fluid glide that sent a shiver of fear skittering down her spine. He looked like a caged jungle beast, fierce and impatient and all too dangerous. "I refuse to answer such a question. I left my mind open to you, allowing you to see everything, including my motivation. There is nothing more to say on the subject. "

  She drew in a deep breath, feeling his anger smoldering beneath the surface, but she couldn't quite bring herself to apologize, not even to soothe him and keep him thinking she was accepting her fate with grace.

  Nicolas broke the silence first. "You have not eaten. "

  "I'm not really very hungry. It's been a long night. " She winced as soon as the words were out of her

  mouth. She didn't want him to suggest they go to bed.

  "I know you need blood, Lara, there is too much Dragonseeker running in your veins for you to survive without it. If you have problems with the idea of taking blood from a human, what do you do? Animal blood has never sufficed. "

  Lara shrugged. "Blood banks. I don't have to control people as if they were puppets. " She sent him a telling look and then paced around the chamber to put a little distance between them.

  He seemed to be everywhere, his presence dwarfing everything else. When he stopped moving, he went absolutely still. She could see the hunter in him. Patient. Motionless. Waiting. And he could wait forever. Panic rose and she crushed it down. No, he only seemed invincible, just as Razvan and Xavier had seemed all-powerful when she was a child. She had escaped them when she thought it impossible, and she could escape this man as well. She just had to keep thinking.

  Nicolas folded his arms across his chest. "Without blood we die. Is it not better to take what we need without scaring the person and then leave him without knowledge that we have done so, then terrorizing someone when it is completely unnecessary?"

  Nicolas watched Lara swing around, her hair crackling with energy, her eyes going aquamarine. "Ifelt that farmer's fear, that one moment before you took over his mind. And earlier, in the street, when I first met you, you made no effort to keep me from knowing what was happening when you took my blood. " Her hand slid to her belt, to the knife there, her only weapon should he attack her again. The smooth handle felt reassuring.

  "You cannot have it both ways, Lara. Either you want me to control his mind and keep him from being frightened, or you want me to just feed, uncaring of how the donor feels. "

  "Why not use a blood bank?"

  He sank down onto the edge of the boulder beside the mineral pool. "You already know the answer to that. The blood does not work for us. We can survive, but not thrive. I fight vampires. I need to be at full strength at all times. What would you have me do?"

  Lara pushed both hands through her hair in agitation. "I don't know. Something else. Something more respectful. People shouldn't be used for food like that. They have feelings. We aren't just mindless puppets. "

  "You are not human. "

  Her chin rose. "I may have a hodgepodge of blood running in my veins, like most humans do, by the way, but without a doubt, I think like a human. I know what it's like to be kept prisoner and dragged out so someone could tear my flesh open and drink my blood. They didn't care if I was scared, or repulsed. They didn't care what I thought or felt,I didn't matter to them anymore than that farmer mattered to you. "

  His dark eyes drifted over her face, taking in every detail. "Should our species give up our lives because we should not take the blood of others without consent? We are careful and respectful. "

  "It didn't feel very respectful to me. " Mentally she kicked herself. She was supposed to be stringing him along. She needed to use her trick of distracting, banal conversation, a sugary voice, even inject humor, all tools she had found invaluable when she was growing up. Conversation sidetracked people.

  Confrontation put them on edge and warned them they were dealing with someone of power. Her body reacted to her moods. The families she lived with eventually became uncomfortable with a child whose hair and eyes changed color when she was upset. She didn't blame them for thinking she was a child of the devil; many of them were superstitious and, quite frankly-well-she was a child of the devil or the closest thing to it-at least the great-great granddaughter of the devil.

  Nicolas reached for her hand. His palm slid along hers-skin to skin. Her stomach flipped. His fingers tangled around her fingers and her heart began to pound out of control. She took a deep breath and looked up at him. Instantly she felt trapped-captivated-by the intensity of his gaze. He turned her hand over and brought it to his chest.

  "I have lived centuries, Lara. I was born with darkness already crouching inside of me and I fought it back every moment of my existence with nothing but honor. I am not making an excuse, I just want you to understand. This night I was too close, and you saved me. We're bound together, but the ritual is not complete. I may have been rougher than I intended with the farmer, but if I didn't calm him before he was aware, it was not intentional. "

  She moistened her dry lips. Deep inside where self preservation lived, she heard herself screaming, "No, no, be quiet, don't engage," but it was too late, the words were already tumbling out of her. "There was a rush, when you seized him, I felt the rush pour into you. You're addicted to it. It's amazing to be all-powerful over someone else, for that one moment to hold l
ife in your hand and choose for them. " She tilted her chin at him, tugging away her hand. "Maybe that's what kept you going on these years, not honor. "

  Nicolas stepped back, fury sweeping through him. His mind touched hers and he drew away, horror sweeping through him as he stepped back a few paces, just out of arm's length when he wanted to grab her and shake her. How dare she dismiss so easily his centuries of service, his fight against the darkness rising like a monster every day of his life. Worse, what kind of a lifemate would deliberately leave her mate vulnerable, completely helpless out of selfish convictions that weren't even logical or reasonable? He could see her plan as plain as day-she was waiting for the sleep of his people to overtake him and she would leave him alone and without safeguards.

  He hadn't felt anger in centuries, now it welled up, a black wall of rage. No one questioned his authority, and they never questioned his integrity. She had done both in the space of a few moments.

  His black eyes glowed hotly and his breath left him in a long, slow hiss. "You think to leave me when I succumb to the sleep of my people? You would do that? Leave me here, unprotected and without safeguards, knowing I could do nothing at all if I was found? You know what anyone would do should they find my body, yet you would betray me in such a way. "

  The waves of anger coming off of him swamped her, sent her stumbling back away from him. He looked every inch a wolf, white teeth bared, mouth set in cruel lines. There was no mercy in him for his enemies, and the moment he saw she intended to expose him to danger, she became his enemy.

  A scream welled up, but she bit it back, turning on her heel and running-to where, she didn't know. She only knew if she stayed, the full brunt of his temper would be on her and he looked as if he could kill her.

  He was on her fast, a lion bringing down prey easily, jerking her to a halt and spinning her around to face him. She threw up her free arm to protect herself from blows that never came. He caught her upper arms

  and gave her a hard shake. "I do not beat women, although if one needed it, it would be you. "

  Keeping a firm grip on her, he dragged her through the cavern to the chamber where the bed stood out so prominently. The sound of her heart thundered in both of their ears. He tossed her easily onto the mattress, one hand running through his thick hair.

  "Don't you touch me. " She crawled to the farthest corner near the headboard, away from him.

  He moved fast, a blur of speed, towering over her, showing her she couldn't escape. "You think I could not make you want me? You are my lifemate. Your body responds to mine no matter what your ridiculous mouth is saying. " The burning in his gaze turned to speculation. "Do you want to pit your power against mine? I could make your body mine easily, and you would crave me night and day. Perhaps it would simplify both our lives. "

  Lara could feel the instant tingling in her body, every nerve ending reaching for him and she was horrified. Her entire body was on fire just from the intensity of his gaze, and the low seductive tone he used, as if he was already brushing her bare skin with the warmth of his palm and pads of his fingers. She had no doubt in her mind that he could enslave her sexually and that she would be no more than a puppet living with this man. He was every bit as cruel, every bit the monster only packaged differently.

  The feel of her blade was reassuring against her hip. If not him, then herself. She searched for a way to disarm him, to dispel the tension between them. Her plan was still good, if she could just keep him calm an hour or so longer. The sun had to be up fairly high. She was feeling a bit lethargic herself. No matter how powerful, he couldn't stay awake forever. He would have to go to ground and sleep.

  "I wasn't going to leave you without safeguards. "

  "Your safeguards must be known to every vampire and mage from here to the sun and back. And do not try to lie to me. I did not see your intention to guard my body while my spirit rested. You did not even think about it. "

  She wanted to refute his accusation, but in truth, she'd thought only to get away. Before she could suppress it, her temper flared. "Who guards their captor? Now who is being illogical and unreasonable? You can't have it both ways. " Her hair banded with stripes as her stomach churned with impotent anger.

  His black eyes glittered ominously as his hand snaked out, caught her wrist and yanked her over, so that her cape fell open, exposing the scabbard on her belt. He ripped the leather free, tearing the knife from her belt and hurling it through the archway to the pool. It landed with a splash and disappeared beneath the steaming water.

  Lara had the strangest reaction. There was a part of her that wanted to curl up in the fetal position, there was a part that wanted to fight tooth and nail, but there was also the most horrifying reaction, a shiver of anticipation that made her womb clench and set wings fluttering inside her stomach.

  "Is that so I won't stab you through the heart when you go to sleep?" She fed his anger because she feared the dark seductive velvet in his voice-the burn of desire smoldering in his eyes. She feared the reaction of her own body to him and more than ever was afraid that he could enslave her will.

  His smile held no humor, nor did it light his eyes, but was a mere flash of strong white teeth. Her heart tripped as she saw the slight length and point to his canine teeth. The effect was subtle but it was there. She tried to make herself smaller as he settled on the bed beside her. One large hand cupped her face,

  forcing her to look at him, to stare into his mesmerizing eyes.

  "You tried stabbing me once. You chose life for us and I expect you to keep your word. " As he spoke, his thumb slid back and forth across her bottom lip.

  She jerked her head up. "You're trying to intimidate me. "

  Swift impatience crossed his face. "I do not think I have to try very hard. I left my mind open to you, gave you complete access, trusted you with everything I am, and you, in turn, closed your mind to me, accused me of heinous crimes and mistrusted me from the beginning. I grow weary of this argument. "

  She hoped he was. She hoped he was so weary he'd go to ground and leave her to make her escape. She kept quiet. His body crowded close, so close he seemed to be everywhere, surrounding her. He took her hand again and held out his other palm. Veins of minerals appeared in the walls of the chamber, glowing briefly as if hot. She blinked at the sudden bright light. There was a tug on her arm and something heavy and warm snapped in place around her wrist. She opened her eyes to see him enclosing his wrist in an iron shackle, tying them together.

  Lara's face went pale. She jerked her arm away. "What are you doing?" With her free hand she tried to push the iron bracelet from her wrist, but it was snug.

  He paid her no attention, murmuring under his breath. She felt the surge of power and knew he was layering on safeguards, binding the shackles with magic so she would have no hope of getting them off if she didn't act fast.

  Forcing back a sob, Lara countered his magic. Iron that binds and fastens tight, I seek to unlock that which holds me tight. I summon thee mineral ,blend with light, forge me a key to undo this plight . Power surged as raw minerals from the earth blended with fiery light to form a key.

  Nicolas twisted quickly, pushing her to the bed, holding her arms down to keep her hands from rising to direct energy into patterns and to prevent her from grasping the key as he threw out a spell of his own.

  Cease this action, intended to unbind, I take in your energy making it mine.

  The key disappeared in a burst of light. At once she knew he had bested her. He was centuries old and she was rusty in her practice. She had forgotten that in the early days, when Nicolas was young, mage and Carpathian shared secrets. She was helpless, completely under his domination, a prisoner unable to escape. She blinked up at him, wanting to punch his face, but terrified of the repercussions. He leaned close, so close she could see the long dark lashes that veiled his smoldering eyes. His lips brushed the side of her mouth.

  "You look like a trapped
kitten, about to hiss and spit fire at me. Go to sleep. We will sort this out the next rising. "

  With that, he lay back, dragging her with him, rolling onto his side, his eyes closing-dismissing her. Lara held her breath waiting, not knowing what to look for. It didn't take long. His breath left his body in one rattling exhale and he lay completely motionless. She was chained to a dead man.

  The trembling started somewhere in her legs and ran up her body so strong she was afraid she would go into convulsions. She lay staring at the ceiling, her heart beating too fast, too loud, her chest hurting, lungs burning from lack of air, her mind screaming. She was a prisoner with no control, no power, no say over

  her own life. It was only a matter of time before he would demand sex and she would succumb to his wishes because she would be unable to stop her body from needing his.

  She shuddered. From there, he would take her blood. It was the nature of all Carpathians to take blood and she had sensed, more than once, his desire to take hers. She'd rather be dead than to live enslaved. She couldn't survive without control in her life, without a say in what she did. She couldn't allow herself to be used for food, or, as she feared would happen, sex and food.

  Lara thought of her past, the few memories she did have of her childhood and knew she could never relive those times as an adult. She lay awake as the sun rose to its height and her body became so leaden she could barely move. When the sun began to sink, she began trying various spells to rid herself of the iron shackle binding her to Nicolas, but no matter what she tried, she couldn't counter his guards.

  She stared up at the gem-studded ceiling without seeing it, tears swimming in her eyes. There was so much left undone that she'd promised to do, but it was too late. Her first promise had been to herself and she refused to even consider anything else. She just needed to work up enough courage to escape in the only way left to her.

  Nicolas awakened, drifting, taking one shallow breath every few minutes, allowing his mind and spirit to find peace in the quiet of Carpathian twilight-not fully gone, but not far from the surface. Lara had hurt him and he couldn't remember the last time anyone had ever done such a thing: He hadn't known anyone could. He knew he should wake fully and face her, but he needed to sort out his unfamiliar emotions. She had certainly pricked his pride when she'd accused him of being addicted to the rush of his power. Honor had sustained him these long centuries, not addiction, and it was the only thing he had to offer her. She had stripped him of even that with her careless accusation.

  He had wanted to throttle her, yet at the same time, the need to kiss her, to dominate her body with his, had risen up like a terrible demon possessing his mind. She should have been grateful for his honor. Without it, she would have found herself naked and writhing under him. She owed him deference and respect. She was so young and inexperienced in all things. She should rely on his wisdom and trust him. He had done nothing but try to protect her, but she persisted in acting like so many of the women, demanding foolish and dangerous things without thinking them through.

  His chest felt heavy, a strange sensation when he should have been weightless. His wrist burned and ached. Fear skittered up his spine and found its way into his consciousness. His spirit reacted, reaching for his body, abruptly taking possession. Nicolas came aware instantly.

  He heard the sound of ragged, thready breathing and smelled-death. He shifted his body, and felt Lara, ice cold, lying beside him. Turning his head, he saw her face, eyes wide and unseeing, staring at the ceiling. A wave of his hand dissolved the shackles, allowing him to roll over and come up on his knees beside her, reaching for her limp arm, his heart nearly stopping, then beginning to slam hard and fast in his chest. Her wrist was torn open, obviously a deliberate attempt to end her life. Her own teeth had ripped the ragged tears, opening her vein so that blood ran down the side of the bed.

  Veriak ot en Karpatiiak. Kod alte han. By the blood of the prince. Darkness curse it. What has she done?

  Swearing, he brought her wrist to his mouth, using his tongue and healing saliva to seal the vein and sweep close the wound. Lara! Come to me . It was a demand. And he was furious that she would do

  such a thing.

  What was she thinking? Didn't she know what would happen?Lara ! Desperation was setting in. She'd been like a wolf caught in a trap, willing to chew off her foot, or end her life rather than be captured and held prisoner. He had lain beside her, angry, righteous, and all the time, she had been quietly ending her life.

  He gathered her into his arms, rocking her gently as he shed his physical body to enter hers. She needed blood. Fast. Her body labored, her mind had already shut itself down to keep from brain damage. Had she been human and mage without Carpathian, she would already be dead.

  He found her spirit, flinching from his light-from him. Come to me, o jela sielamak. Light of my soul, stay with me .

  His arrogance had driven her to this. He hadn't seen her as a person, so much ashis . His savior, his possession, his to do his bidding. He'd been so sure of himself, so certain of his rightness. Nicolas De La Cruz, informing his brothers how they should handle their lifemates, so certain he knew best for everyone around him, after all, he was faster and smarter and had lived so much longer. And yet his own lifemate, the woman he had sworn to protect, to make happy, he had driven to this-taking her own life rather than submit to him.

  He crooned to her, wooed her, soothed her as he gathered her spirit to him to prevent her from going so far he might not be able to bring her back. Keeping her secure, he returned to his own body.

  He had needed her to know who was in charge. He needed to establish his dominancy like some conquering warrior, to prove to her that when he said something she should listen because he knew best. This was his failing. He hadn't taken the time to know her, to understand her, or even to give her credit for keeping her word. She had chosen life for them and she placed herself in his hands for all time, trusting him. And he'd destroyed that trust-and them.

  He hadn't seen her as someone separate from him, with her own thoughts and feelings. His family had been cursed "too" everything. Too smart. Too fast. Too assured. Too dark. There in the darkness of the cave, deep beneath the ground, holding the ice-cold body of his lifemate, he admitted the truth to himself.

  He lengthened his nail and drew it across his chest, opening his vein. He couldn't even promise her he wouldn't repeat his mistakes, the darkness in him may have gathered strength over the years, but it had been there from the beginning. Even with his lifemate close, it was a living, breathing entity inside of him and it demanded those around him go his way. I will fight my nature as much as possible, Lara . He murmured to her softly as he pressed her mouth to the wound over his heart. I will be all things to you. Come back to me and let me show you I can be what you need . He had only considered how much she must change to be what he needed. How had he been such a fool?

  She didn't respond. Not to the scent of his blood, and not to his coaxing words. In the end he had to resort to a command, wincing as he did so. How could she ever resolve living with one such as him? How could he protect her from his own nature? Even now, when she so clearly chose death over living with him, he imposed his will on her.

  Juosz es olen ainaak sielamet jutta. Drink and become one with me. Live with me. I will never be perfect, but I will do all within my power to make you happy. Drink and live. It was a command-a compulsion-and he put every bit of power he could summon into the directive because he was not able to let her go. He would choose life for her and spend the rest of the time they had trying to convince her

  he had done the right thing.

  Her mouth moved against his bare chest. He was unprepared for the strange reaction of his body. The heat exploding into fire. The fullness in his groin. The burn of need in his veins. He threw back his head and absorbed the feeling, took it deep and held on to it. The call of one lifemate to another. His soul had called to hers and hers had
answered. Their minds sought one another, needing the constant closeness between them. Now his body was calling, determined to awaken hers. Where was his heart? Did he even have one? Was that part of the curse of the De La Cruz family? Maybe they really didn't have hearts-or maybe it was just him. Although right now, right at this moment, he felt like his was breaking. He ached for both of them.

  His life force flooded her starving body, organs and tissue and brain greedily reaching instinctively for nourishment-for life. He made certain he not only gave her enough to replace what she had lost, but enough for a formal blood exchange. Their first true exchange and it was much needed. He had to find a degree of control to combat the darkness that had grown so strong over the last few centuries. His one fear had been that of turning vampire, becoming the most loathsome of evil creatures, yet now, with his lifemate to provide the light to his darkness, he should have been free of worry. Without the formal blood exchange, even with the claiming ritual, until they met as one in body as well as soul and mind, he was a danger to everyone-but mostly he was dangerous to her.

  Nicolas cradled Lara in his arms, close to his chest, still rocking. The sun had gone down some time ago and the night was on them. He had no idea when she had managed to harm herself or how long she had lain awake contemplating harming herself, but her spirit was a long way from her body.

  "O jela sielamak. Light of my soul, come back to me. " She struggled and at first he thought it was to stay away from him, but then he realized her spirit was trapped elsewhere. She had drifted away on a sea of blood and wherever her spirit had roamed, past or present, or the shadow world, she was trapped in a web she couldn't get out of. Without hesitation, he merged his mind fully with hers, following the path to find her and guide her back to the land of the living.