Dark Sentinel ('Dark' Carpathian Book 32) Page 17

  I am trying to understand, Andor. I know I don’t want to be without you. I know I am not attracted to any of the others. I can’t seem to get past the feeling that what you feel for me can’t be love. You didn’t get to know me …

  Her body moved against his restlessly, sending hot blood pooling in his groin. Her breasts felt exquisite against him, and he longed to feel the silk of her skin in his hands. He hadn’t known the taking of blood or the giving of it could be so erotic.

  He stroked his hand down the thick mass of chestnut hair. It was his favorite color and always would be. He liked the golden and reddish tones deep in the darker browns. He had realized, looking at it for the first time, that she was his. The one. The only. Born just for him.

  I am in your mind. I can call up every memory from the day you were born. I have access to every minute of your life. I probably know you better than you know yourself. How can you say I don’t know you? You have access to my memories. You know me better than anyone, even my brethren and I have spent centuries with them.

  I know nothing of Carpathian life.

  You know everything of Carpathian life. You choose not to acknowledge what you fear. Those memories are there, and you can access them anytime.

  I prefer you to tell me aloud. I can …

  Process. He heard the smile in his voice and knew it was there because she made him happy. Everything about her. Just the way she was. The way her mind worked. She liked to have all the information, but slowly, not all at once in the way she would learn from his mind.

  You think you like everything about me, Andor, but you didn’t like me making decisions independently of you.

  That is true, he readily acknowledged. I am still working to catch up with your century. You also were placed in positions that compromised my honor and your life without having all the information you needed. That was unfair to both of us. We have gone past that. At least he hoped they had. He hoped that even though she was a modern woman and he was from the past, their connection was strong enough to overcome any real problems.

  He inserted his hand between her mouth and his chest with some reluctance. They had both taken enough for a true blood exchange. He couldn’t afford to be weak, not with the trip back to the compound coming up and a possible fight against more of Sergey’s army. With a wave of his hand his shirt was done up so that she wasn’t looking at his mangled chest.

  Lorraine didn’t move for the longest time, her face buried against his chest, her breath coming in ragged pants. She fought for control. He held her, his arms tight, wanting her to feel safe after the trauma of the day. She was as unfamiliar with sexual hunger as he was and the intensity of that was overwhelming. And there was the fact that she had just taken his blood, known she was doing it, and enjoyed it. His woman had to process all of that. He was very grateful that she could do so in his arms. He loved holding her.

  After a few minutes, she leaned into him even more. “I’m afraid. I’m not normally a person who lives in fear, but suddenly I’m very afraid. I wake up afraid and go to sleep afraid. I’ve been doing that since I lost my family. I have nightmares. I can’t get the images out of my mind, and now I have more. Vampires. Human puppets. That was so terrible. I could tell that Adam and Herman were good people. They recognized the puppet and were horrified. I’ll never get that out of my mind, either.”

  “I can distance you from it.” He made the offer, but he already knew her answer. He hadn’t told an untruth when he said he knew her. She would not allow him to soften those memories of her family or the things she had learned about his world.

  “Thank you, Andor, but I’ll keep my memories. I just need a little time.” She lifted her head from his chest and looked up at him, her palm cupping the side of his face.

  There was tenderness in her touch. So much so that he wanted to capture the moment for all time and hold it close so he could pull it up often.

  “What about you? Are you able to travel?”

  “That is the plan, sívamet. We will go back to the compound as soon as we’re all ready. Each must feed and be in top fighting order.”

  “You expect an attack.”

  “I do not know.” Andor frowned. “Sergey is a master planner. He was overlooked because his brothers seemed more powerful and much more ruthless. According to all information on the Malinovs, it was the older brothers making decisions, but clearly, Sergey was scheming all along. How he ended up with pieces of Xavier, as well as taking over the armies, I cannot imagine, but that alone allows him access to the high mage’s memories, making him doubly dangerous. It would make little sense to attack our group as we travel. Too many warriors. It would be a suicide mission.”

  He wanted her to continue stroking his face and jaw with her fingers. Every brush was a touch inside him, deep, where he knew he could hold on to it for all time. He liked the way her eyes drifted over his face with almost a physical touch. Each look. Each time the pads of her fingers smoothed the roughness of his jaw, the caress made his heart clench and his blood surge hotly.

  “But you think he will,” she persisted.

  “I think this vampire will nip at our heels continually to weaken us. Tariq was to send out warriors to meet us, but Gary fears Sergey is waiting for that. He has requested that the others stay close to the women and children. He acts as Tariq’s second-in-command, but his true position is more. He would make the decision to protect Tariq if necessary.”

  “Tell me about the other women who are lifemates at the compound.”

  He nuzzled the top of her head and dozens of strands of her hair caught on the dark shadowy stubble on his jaw, tying them together in the way the ritual binding words had tied their souls together. He liked symbols and to him, the small entangling was very symbolic.

  “Charlotte is Tariq’s lifemate and she was human. She restored carousel horses, and Tariq had carved them a few centuries ago. He made an effort to collect the ones still around and when he heard her, he knew she was the one. It was interesting that both shared a love of carousel horses.”

  “Is Charlotte like me? Will she fight?”

  Andor thought that over. “Charlotte will fight, but it isn’t her nature. Blaze, Maksim’s woman, is much more like you. Her father raised her in an apartment over a bar. Her family was targeted, we think, in order for Sergey’s brother Vadim to acquire Blaze’s best friend, Emeline. Blaze was human and chose to come into our world. She’s a warrior through and through and has been working with the children to teach them to better defend themselves against our enemies.”

  He indicated Adam and Herman, who were seated on the ground, heads down, while they clutched the water bottles from Lorraine’s pack. She sat up a little straighter when she realized someone had recovered Theodore’s water bottle and it had been given to Adam to drink out of.

  “Emeline was human and does not have a warrior’s instincts, but she sacrificed everything in order to save the children. She knew what would happen to her and yet she still went after them when Vadim had them. She is Dragomir’s lifemate.”

  Andor rubbed at Lorraine’s lips, tracing her mouth, that sweet curve and the small dimple to the right. His heart beat harder as he did so. His body stirred and images slipped into his mind. His mouth on hers. Tasting her that way.

  “Stop.” She whispered it and glanced toward the two men seated some distance from them.

  “They cannot see us. We are hidden from them by the trees. If you prefer, I can shield us even more.”

  “When you kiss me, I want to be only aware of us. You. Me. No one else.”

  There was an ache in her voice his mind, heart and body echoed. “You are right, of course, but waiting for that after all the time being soul to soul and mind and to mind is difficult.”

  For the first time since he’d risen, a genuine smile curved the rose of her lips. His stomach had a strange reaction to that, as did his heart.

  “Are there other lifemates?”

  “I am not as familiar wi
th the women as Gary. He might have that answer. I have met Charlotte, Emeline and Blaze. There is another human woman there, but she does not have a lifemate. She is psychic and could be a lifemate, but so far, no one has arrived who would claim her.”

  “You don’t know her name?”

  He remained silent for a long moment, thinking how best to answer that. “I come from another century. We did not even name lifemates, Lorraine. Names hold power to us, and we did not allow other men too close.”

  She sat up straight, looking shocked, but she didn’t let go of him. “But that isn’t logical, Andor. It is much safer for everyone if there is more than one warrior to protect women and children. Obviously, you need children in order to have more lifemates. Why wouldn’t you allow someone trusted to live close and know your woman?”

  He could see she was genuinely shocked. “You have to remember, vampires didn’t band together. Normally, a hunter tracked an individual. A male with a lifemate would not want another male without one to know his woman or her name.”

  “Growing up, didn’t you know the names of other children? Even if they were female?”

  “Yes, of course, but names changed often. We did not use surnames. We stuck to the old ways of protecting ourselves because if a male chose, at any time, to give up his soul and become vampire, a female lifemate would draw him. Actually, any female. It would be worse if he knew her name.”

  “Like Sergey did Elisabeta’s.”

  Andor could see she was trying hard to understand. “Ferro and some of the others believe Sergey plotted to kidnap and keep Elisabeta prior to his turning. Xavier had kidnapped and kept a Carpathian woman. Sergey knew that and did not tell his prince or any of the other Carpathians; he was a traitor beyond any other.”

  “I don’t think I like Sergey.”

  A slow smile tugged at his mouth. He felt a little rusty, but it was becoming easy to smile around her. Her brightness fed a need and hunger in him he hadn’t known existed. He was a warrior. He had been for centuries. He didn’t need others—in fact, they had always been a detriment. Now, this one woman had a light in her that shone so brightly, it spilled over him, and all the darkness that had taken him over, one shadow at a time, threatening to consume him, was pushed back with one of her statements, delivered in a snippy tone.

  “Are you laughing at me?”

  Her hands dropped from his neck to fit on her hips, instantly calling his attention to those curves. He caught her wrists and brought her hands back up to him so her arms were forced to slide around his neck. He fit her hands to the nape of his neck, and then pressed hard for a moment as if he could force them to stay there. Technically, he could do that, but he preferred to allow his woman to get used to him before he did anything that might scare her off.

  The moment Lorraine threaded her fingers together and leaned her body against his, he dropped his hands to her hips. He curled each palm around an enticing curve. Feeling her. Wishing neither of them had cloth between them. He just wanted to actually feel the way her skin felt all over.

  She laughed softly. “You’re still wounded, you know. The others told me you wouldn’t be fully healed until you were in the ground for a few days, maybe even longer. They repaired enough of the damage to get you to fly home, but that’s all. You still have three gaping wounds in your body, yet the first thing you’re thinking about is getting me naked. You’re such a man.”

  He inclined his head. “Thank you for the compliment.”

  She laughed again, and the sound teased his groin into a hard ache. The notes danced up and down his cock like the touch of fingers, robbing him of breath. Need exploded out of his lungs. Happiness stabbed at his heart, embedded deep and left him—hers. Only hers. Just like the tattoo on his back, painfully jabbed deep into his skin so his body couldn’t remove the vow.

  “That was no compliment, you goof.”

  His eyebrow arched instantly. “Goof? What is goof? And of course it was a compliment. I may be Carpathian, but I am a man.”

  She shook her head, her green eyes dancing. In that moment, all trace of fear and sorrow was gone. Her features were lit with amusement. He shared that with her. He’d done that for her. Lorraine was a strong woman. She needed his comfort, and he was grateful for that. He liked caring for her, just as she’d taken care of him, and she stood back up every time she got knocked down.

  She’d done so at a young age when her parents had entered her in tournaments. Sometimes she’d been the victor. Sometimes she’d been defeated. Always, she’d gotten back to her feet when an opponent had knocked her down, swept her legs out from under her or pinned her to the ground. She’d been born with that trait and she’d developed it almost daily in the way her parents had raised her. They lived a life of discipline and expected her to do the same.

  “The others are returning. Those that did not feed from Adam and Herman had to go hunting,” Andor said reluctantly.

  He wanted more time with her. He needed more time with her alone. He was forced to block pain from his woman. Even so, if she looked too close in his mind, he knew she would find it there. He silently cursed the fact that he’d taken on all seven vampires. He had known going into it that he would be torn to shreds and possibly killed, but it hadn’t mattered. Only destroying the undead mattered. He had no idea he was fated to meet his lifemate and would come close to taking her with him.

  Once she had bound her soul to his, and the others had joined, in order to save him, all their lives had been at risk. He knew Sandu and Ferro had done so because he was their brother—not of blood but as close or closer. Two centuries could produce that kind of loyalty. Gary had joined them. A healer so skilled, so rare, it would be a huge loss to the Carpathian people, and yet, like Gregori, his older brother, he was a warrior and hunted the undead. To save another Carpathian, Gregori would have gone to the lengths Gary had, risking his own life.

  Andor was certain there was another reason altogether as well. Gary had the fighting skills of a long line of ancient warriors. Few would be able to defeat him in a battle. He also had an enormous IQ and was a battle strategist. By tying himself to Andor, Ferro and Sandu, he was assured that there were ancient warriors who could track him should he ever succumb to whispers of temptation. He had now exchanged blood with all of them. They would be able to find him wherever he was in the world.

  “Why are you frowning?” She slid off his lap and stood up slowly. Almost reluctantly.

  Andor appreciated that she didn’t want to end their time alone together. He felt the same way. “I was not frowning.” He wore a mask on his expressionless face. He kept his features looking like stone so none could read him, yet she had so easily.

  “I’m in your mind. There was a frown.”

  “Technically, sívamet, that is cheating. You have to learn to read my expressions.”

  “You don’t have expressions. Nor do you have ‘tells,’ little movements you make before you say or do something. I’m very good at reading my opponents. I trained myself to stay out of their minds and just read body language. You don’t give anything away.”

  He stood as well and saw her eyes widen in shock. She hadn’t noticed how tall or muscular he was until that moment. He liked the look on her face. She was easy to read right then—she liked what she saw. He held out his hand. She took it without hesitation, and he threaded his fingers through hers. She waited, not moving. He didn’t move, either. Once they took that step that brought them out of the brush and trees, it was no longer just them.

  He pulled her farther into the shelter of the trees. “I need to kiss you.”

  “I know. I feel it, too,” she said, but he didn’t hear agreement in her voice. There was trepidation, not agreement.

  “Csecsemõ, what is it?”

  The tip of her tongue touched her lower lip. “If you kiss me, there isn’t any going back.”

  Now he did frown. Openly. “Back from what, Lorraine? I have claimed you as my lifemate. There is no going back from
that. I will always need to be with you. You will always need to be with me. One cannot take that back. Our souls are woven together.”

  She nodded, that adorable frown on her face matching his much more scowling one.

  “I’m aware of the ramifications of what you did. I felt the difference when you said your vows. How you could manage to weave our souls together just by your one-sided vow, I don’t know. If things were equal, a woman should have to recite them with you.”

  He tugged her a step closer. “A woman in our world did not need to say the vows for the binding ritual to work. It is the male who would turn vampire and lose all honor after centuries of hunting and keeping his people safe. Of course, his woman would want to bind herself to him in order to save him.”

  “I don’t know,” she said. “If he’s an arrogant man who wants to boss her all the time, maybe not, and don’t tell me some of your brethren aren’t a bit— or a lot— like that because I know two who are.”

  He threw his head back and laughed, because he knew more than two. He might even be counted among that lot, although he wasn’t going to enlighten her. She’d learn that soon enough. “I will concede your point, Lorraine, but you haven’t told me what will happen when I kiss you.”

  Her tongue once more moistened her lower lip, stirring his body beyond belief that just that small action could affect him so deeply. He had to suppress a groan of need. His skin felt too tight, his cock ached and every nerve ending seemed alive. She gave a shake of the head. Her hair went flying, swinging in all directions and then settling down her back and around her shoulders like a living cape.

  He dared to tug her a step closer. He had managed to gain a step toward her as well so now only inches separated them. He felt the heat of her body and inhaled the fragrance that was all Lorraine. On waking, he had waved his hand to give her the same freshness that he had when rising. He remembered the first scent of her, the first touch of her hair against his fingers. Every detail of her. He paid attention to those things because she mattered to him more than anything or anyone else on the earth.